T G I F
by Pyrofrickenmaniac
Summary: Kurt Hummel experiences his own crazy Friday night. Song fic set to Katy Perry's "T.G.I.F." Klaine. Three way. Rating is subject to change.
1. There's A Pounding In My Head

_Prologue_

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><p><strong>There's a stranger in my bed<br>There's a pounding in my head  
>Glitter all over the room<br>Pink flamingos in the pool  
>I smell like a minibar<br>DJ's passed out in the yard  
>Barbies on the barbecue<br>Is this a hickey or a bruise?**

**Pictures of last night ended up online I'm screwed, oh well  
>It's a blacked-out blur but I'm pretty sure it ruled, damn!<strong>

Kurt Hummel blinked his eyes open to the new day. The sun was shining through his windows and everything was peaceful and quiet.

If only that insane hammering in his head would die down a bit.

He slowly transitioned into a sitting position, two hands holding his head in place to keep it from spinning. He looked around at his room, eyes bleary. Everything seemed really bright and shimmery, but that must have been from his hang over.

He stretched, arms out to his sides, when he encountered warm flesh. He flinched and looked over at the mop of long brown hair splayed out on her pillow. He was afraid to rouse this stranger... in fear of learning who it was. His biggest concern was that it was a _naked_ _female_ whom he did not recognize, but it seemed that he had bigger problems to attend to.

It wasn't all his drunken vision which was making the room sparkle, it was simply that his entire room was coated in glitter, like someone had stabbed a unicorn and spilled it's contents in a flamboyant array around his quarters.

As he began to regain his senses, he wrinkled his nose in disgust. He hesitantly sniffed the naked female beside him and it wasn't her. She smelled like sweat, what he was smelling was something different. Looking down he realized he was naked too. Splendid. He sniffed his arm and winced. He smelled like a mini bar. His mouth tasted like floor of one too.

He roused himself out of bed, lazily holding a pillow in front of his crotch. He shuffled over to the window and squinted. The first thing that caught his attention were the bright pink flamingos that were floating around in his neighbor's pool.

Second, was the guy passed out in his own front lawn who had giant head phones around his neck. He assumed he was the DJ. Beside him was an open grill that would most likely start a fire if those hot dogs and plastic toys were not taken off within the next 10 minutes.

Kurt shrugged though and pretend like someone else would surely take care of that problem, because he was too tired and confused to deal with that minor detail at the moment.

He went to the bathroom, glancing at his full-length mirror as he urinated. Were those hickies or bruises? With his unoccupied hand, he pressed two fingers onto the purple marks.

Yep. It was a hickey. On his hip...and abdomen...and shoulder...and neck.

Oh, one bruise on his thigh.

He ran his hands under some water and haphazardly dried them off. He tiptoed over to his computer and winced when the start-up noise seemed to be particularly loud that morning.

He booted up his Facebook page. He almost slammed his forehead on the desk when the first picture someone had uploaded was of him on a table, in his underwear, dancing to Single Ladies. The next was also of him, posted by someone else, eating a jello-shot off of Sam Evan's washboard stomach, and the next picture was of him -oh- cupping his junk as he and two other blurs ran across a park.

He covered his face in his hands, willing it all to go away. But as he uncovered his eyes, all the chaos was still there and more pictures were rapidly surfacing online.

What had happened last Friday night?

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><p><strong>So this story is going to go along with the lyrics to Katy Perry's song "T.G.I.F." There will be Klaine. We will find out who this mystery girl is and who will be the third person in the "menage trois?"<strong>


	2. Yeah We Danced On Table Tops

_Last Friday night..._

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><p><strong>Last Friday Night<br>Yeah, we danced on table tops  
>And we took too many shots<br>Think we kissed, but I forgot  
>Last Friday night<strong>

"No Puckerman, for the umpteenth time, I will not host a party tonight while my dad and Carole are away."

"But it's Friday!"

Kurt rubbed his temples. "_No way!_ And tomorrow is Saturday, and Sunday comes afterwords!" Kurt said sarcastically.

"Hey, that song is a piece of art. Anyways, you have nothing to worry about except opening your house for us! I'll bring the people, the kegs, and the strobe lights. All I ask is that you lend us your house for one night and I'll even help clean up tomorrow morning."

Kurt sighed again.

"Invite Blaine," Puck egged. "I know you two have just started off, but why not show him a fun side of you. That will get you in his pants fast."

"Puck! Jesus. We've been dating for one month today actually, thanks for remembering."

"Have you even made it to 3rd base yet?"

Kurt blushed. "No."

"Second?"

"Um," Kurt thought about it. One time they made out shirtless and sometimes Blaine put his hand on Kurt's thigh during movies. "Kinda."

"For God's sake man! 'Kinda?' Seriously, you _need_ this party."

Kurt twirled his finger around his old-fashioned hand dial that he loved (because it reminded him of every classic film he knew). He licked his lips. "O-okay. But a very small one please! No more than... 12 people?" he ended it as a question, mentally counting all the kids in Glee club and most likely missing some.

"Perfect."

* * *

><p>"This is more than 12 people, Noah!" Kurt screamed over the ear-splitting music.<p>

"WHAAAT?" Puck said, turning his head away from the girl he was grinding on.

Kurt looked at the incoherently drunk girl and wondered if he had ever seen her before in his entire life.

"YOU ARE A STUPID FUCK," Kurt screamed at Puck's face.

Puck shrugged. "Hey, I can't help it if the people I invited brought their friends along. I just said 'party.'"

Kurt tapped his fingers on his thigh, trying to guess how many people were there in his house, partying. He knew maybe a third of them and the rest probably didn't even know they were at his house. Some came already drunk. When he got to 30 and saw there were still more people coming, he forced himself to stop counting or else he might get himself sick.

Everything seemed to slow for a second though when he saw Blaine walk through the door, looking absolutely stunning and extremely surprised.

He made his way over to Kurt and got close to him to talk. "Wow, no offense, but I didn't realize you had so many friends. Especially when you said you were just having 'a few' over."

"Puckerman," Kurt stated. He downed the rest of his first drink, needing to numb his growing headache a bit.

"Ooooh."

"You look great by the way!" Kurt yelled at him as the tempo of the next song made the house quiver.

"Thanks! I'm trying something new!" Blaine's hair was flat ironed and sticking up in all directions, and it looked insanely hot.

"Want a drink?" Kurt asked, filling his own cup from the keg.

"Yeah, just one."

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><p>Kurt was not sure how it got to this point, but he was drunk. Like, insanely, disgustingly, drunk.<p>

All he remembered was watching Blaine mingle with some other (presumably) straight guys and Puck coming over to sit next to Kurt.

"You're right, Puck. We're never going to get to third base, or even second for that matter!" Kurt said, throwing his arms up.

Kurt was a peculiar drunk. He was a mix when it came to his stages of drunkenness. Right now he was in his 'I feel so alone and dejected and unconnected to people' stage. But this was only the prelude to a much more fun part of his antics.

"It's a party, Kurt," Puck said, throwing his arm around the smaller boy's back, his other hand bringing his lips to his drink. "Be flirty and sex that stud up. Show him your sexy side...if you have one."

Kurt looked over at Puck and smiled, his next stage of drunkenness starting to appear. He put a hand high on Puck's thigh and leaned over the man. "I'll show you a sexy side," he said lowly, then grabbed Puck's drink and downed the rest in one long gulp.

He went over to his speaker system, grabbing Brittany and Santana with him as he made his way over and put on his theme song. The girls got the hint and clambered onto Kurt's dining room table and began step-touching as Kurt turned to face them.

Kurt whirled around and began singing "Single Ladies," but Beyonce's voice drowned him out. They all continued to dance, adding way more hip thrusting than necessary. Suddenly the whole room had erupted into cat calls and Kurt locked eyes with a very stunned (and insanely turned on) Blaine Anderson.

At the point in the song where the girls run their hands down Kurt's body, Santana and Brittany had decided to get dirty and Brittany pulled Kurt's pants down as Santana ripped his button-down off, the buttons flying off his body. Kurt was unfazed through and continued his routine, kicking his pants off as he did.

Everyone was clapping and whistling and Kurt made sure to roll his hips even more seductively until the last note echoed in which he posed with his hands in his hair.

If he hadn't been so drunk, he would have noticed the glow of dozens of cell phones and cameras recording this moment.

"Kurt...that was. Oh my god," Blaine breathed as Kurt sauntered back over to him, pulling his jeans back on.

"It was nothing. I'm just always that sexy," Kurt purred, running his finger down Blaine's front then trying to put his shirt back on. His hand went through a large rip on the side and he stared at it for a second. Then he realized the problem. "Aw maaaaan. This was my favorite party shirt." He frowned and Blaine hugged him around the waist.

"It's okay. Just stay shirtless," Blaine suggested, eyes wide from his alcohol intake.

"Good idea! You're the smartest boyfriend ever!" Kurt then howled and took Blaine's hand. "The party is just getting started!"

* * *

><p>Blaine and Kurt were making out shamelessly in a chair, Blaine straddling his boyfriend.<p>

"Your turn, Kurt!" Brittany said to then, wiping some salt off her lips. She frowned when she saw how they were positioned and how they were not paying attention to her. She stood up and wretched Kurts head around, fisting her fingers into his hair. She slammed their lips together, pushing her tongue in.

Blaine stood up, stumbling around aimlessly while Brittany took her place on Kurt's lap and continued to make out with him. He breathed into her mouth and grabbed her hips, grinding up into her. She groaned into his mouth, pressing her ass harder into him and loving the friction. Her eyes opened slowly again though and she climbed off.

"Sorry, Kurt. I got distracted. But it's your turn for a jello shot," she said. Then she smiled. "I missed that. You're still the best kisser I know, Kurtie."

Kurt opened his eyes as well, red lipstick smeared all over his lips and chin. "Jello shot? Off of what?"

"Off of whom," Sam said, laying down on the floor and pulling his shirt up.

Santana whooped and clapped, turning three green shots onto Sam's flat stomach. They jiggled as Sam squirmed from the cold jello.

"Yum!" Kurt said, dropping to his knees next to Sam. He looked up at Sam, flashing a grin, then sucked in the first jello shot, latching his lips onto Sam's firm abs. "Ohmygod," Kurt exhaled, barely moving his lips.

Sam was obviously drunk too and only sighed as Kurt began sucking a hickey onto his flesh. Kurt barely registered the flashes of cameras going off, and was too hammered to care.

"Hey, hey, hey. Hey. I want some too!" Blaine said, falling to his knees as well (but not nearly as graceful as Kurt did). "Ready?" he asked, locking eyes with Kurt.

"One, two, three!" Kurt said before licking his lips and swallowing the middle jello shot off of Sam, his cheek brushing against Blaine's as they did so.

Everyone around them clapped then Blaine and Kurt hugged the other, quickly turning it into a make-out on top of Sam.

30 seconds into their heated session, Sam said, "Um, guys?"

"ShutupEvans," Kurt mumbled again Blaine's mouth.

"You two are kinda making out on top of me. I must admit, its kinda hot, but I need to get up."

Flashing him a glare, Kurt grabbed Blaine and rolled them off of the blonde.

"Thanks guys," he said before walking off, very off-kilter.

"Blaine?"

"Yes?"

"Can we take this to my room?"

Blaine pulled away from Kurt with a wet sound, both of their lips wet from the shared saliva. "Let's go," Blaine said roughly, grabbing his boyfriend's hand.

They ran over to Kurt's bedroom and opened the door. They held onto each other and fell into Kurt's bed.

"HEY!" a female voice yelled, wrapping the covers over her naked body.

"T-tina?" Kurt said, registering her face.

"Oh, uh, hi Kurt."

"Hellllllllo Mike," Blaine said with a waggle of his eyebrows of the guy on the other side of Tina.

"Um, hi," he responded, placing a hand over his erection.

Kurt rolled his eyes. "Don't mind us, I think we'll be done soon," Kurt said, trying to kiss Blaine again.

"Kurt, get out, we were here first," Tina said irritably.

"My room!" Kurt said, sticking out his tongue.

Blaine got off the bed, his hand still clasped around Kurt's. "No, it's okay, I know somewhere else we can go."

Kurt's eyes brightened. "Are we going to get more drunk?"

"Yep!" Blaine said.

"Yay!" Kurt rushed over to his bedside table and found his face ID which he made for emergencies a few months back. He blew the dust off of it and then threw a blue wrapped package at Mike's face. "Here's a condom. Use it well. Also, I don't know if you really need it for girls, but here's some lube too." Kurt tossed the lube onto Mike's crotch.

"K-kurt, we don't n-need lube," Tina said, her face growing red.

Kurt leaned over Mike and whispered in her ear. "In case you guys want to get kinky. And there's some _toys_ in my underwear draw. Just clean them when you're done."

And on that note Blaine and Kurt flew out of the room and bounded down the stairs. Just as they began to exit though, Kurt noticed a tall pile of boxes of pizza.

"Who ordered pizza?" he asked a guy whom he had never seen before.

"Oh, Puck used your credit card."

"Good to know," Kurt said with a smile and continued out the door. Just as they reached Blaine's car though, Kurt stopped.

"You okay?" Blaine asked.

"Hey, did I kiss Brittany?"

"What are you talking about?"

"I dunno," Kurt said, blinking a few times. "I just had this weird feeling like I made out with her."

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><p><strong>There are still a few more chapters to come! <strong>

**Reviews are wonderful! I don't care if it's been 30 years since this has been posted, I love reviews!**

** Who do you think is going to be included in this ménage à trois?**

**Also, I'm pyrofrickenmaniac on Tumblr! I'd love to meet all my readers!**


	3. Skinny Dipping In The Dark

**Yeah, we maxed our credit cards  
>And got kicked out of the bars<br>So we hit the boulevard  
>Last Friday night<strong>

Kurt and Blaine drove to the nearest bar, somehow not running any stop lights or running anyone over. They stumbled in and sat down at the bar, trying to compose themselves.

"Two Cuba Libres, please," Kurt said as formally as he could.

The bartender looked between them. "ID's."

Kurt and Blaine showed them to the attendant with a flourish.

The bartender rolled his eyes, most likely knowing the cards were fake, but not caring since it was so late at night and he wanted to close up soon. He gave them their drinks and they clinked them together. Just as they were taking their first sips though, they heard what sounded like someone crying.

"Heeeeey, I know that crying," Kurt said. "Rachel?"

"You asshole!" she screamed, throwing her drink at him, but missing by a matter of at least 3 feet. Blaine though, had ducked.

"What did I do now, Rachel?"

"Did you see that?" Blaine asked. "She got _thisclose_ to hitting us!"

Both Kurt and Rachel ignored him. "You bitch, Hummel! You invite everyone, like, _everyone_, to your house for a party and forgot me! I hate you! So that's why I'm here, alone!"

"Sorry Rachel, I had no say in who was coming except for Blaine because I'm trying to get into his pants. Puck picked the rest."

"I felt it _whoosh_ right past my ear!" Blaine said, pressing his hand against the side of his face.

"Well the night is still young and I'm not going back home now, want to hang out with us for the rest of this lovely evening?" Kurt asked Rachel.

She sniffled, then nodded. She sat near them and they ordered a round of strawberry daiquiris, choosing to ignore the unamused glare of the bartender who kept looking at his watch.

Finally at 1:30AM he forced them all to leave.

"But we have good money!" Kurt said waving another 20 in his face.

"I don't care! I want to go home! Anyways, you all are drunk off your asses!" He then literally pushed Kurt out the door and locked it.

"Did we just get kicked out of a bar?" Blaine asked. "And I didn't even get to punch anybody!"

"We were the only ones in there."

"So? I want to be kicked out for good reason."

"Maybe next time, Blainey," Kurt said, patting his quickly-turning-into-a-puppy boyfriend's shoulder.

"It's so hot out," Rachel complained. They made their way to Kurt's car and leaned on the side of it.

Blaine raised his hand and jumped around. Kurt stared at him and a few moments before saying, "Blaine?"

"I know! I know! I want to get kicked out of somewhere and you're hot." Blaine stopped himself. "You know, body temperature hot, Kurt is _hot_, but you're like, you know...not. Anyways, we should go where the rich people live and-" Blaine looked around for wandering ears, even though they all knew that there was no one around. "Skinny dip."

"Yes!" Rachel screamed, fist pumping. "I've been wanting to get Kurt naked since the 6th grade."

Blaine was startled. "Rachel? Where did you come from!"

"Great idea, Blaine! Let's go! But you drive, I'm too drunk to drive."

"I love having a smart boyfriend," Blaine sighed, climbing into the driver's seat.

Blaine drove them (only murdering 3 shrubs along the way) to a street that ended in "Blvd," so it had to be a decent place to raid. They parked right at the end of the culdesac and followed Blaine to a house about 3 in. Kurt marveled by how well Blaine seemed to see in the dark while he could barely see Blaine's white shirt. He walked over to the back of the house and fiddled with the lock.

"I've broken in here countless times," Blaine told them and the lock popped open.

"I'm so turned on right now," Kurt said.

Blaine swung the plastic fence door open to reveal a huge pool illuminated by a bright pool light.

"Nice," Kurt commented.

"Ditto," Rachel said breathlessly. Her eyes fixated on Kurt as he removed his remaining articles of clothing, then jumped into the pool in a cannonball.

"Shh!" Blaine urged, stripping as well and diving in after Kurt, bare-assed. He sprung up from under the water, gasping for air. He frantically swam over to the shallow end and stood shivering.

"It's so c-c-cold," Kurt and Blaine said. "C-come on in R-Rachel!"

"And bring the f-flamingos with you!" Blaine told her.

She raised an eyebrow and looked at the brightly colored abominations that were hurting her eyes, even in the dark. "Why?"

"They look thirsty," Blaine said, a puppy-like look on his face.

Rachel appraised the plastic toys, then ripped them from the ground and threw them in the pool as well.

"Yay!" Blaine called out and mounted one, sinking as he did so. "I'm king of the worrrrrr-" he was cut off by the sound of bubbles as his head submerged under the water.

Kurt looked at where the bubbles were coming up and waited a few moments before wading over and pulling Blaine back up by his hair.

He sputtered and looked around. "Kurt! You saved my life!" He attacked Kurt with his lips and the two began to make out, grinding unashamedly against each other.

"Here I come boys!" Rachel called out, posing in the nude.

Kurt wrinkled his nose. "Boner. Killed."

She jumped in and they all began laughing until a bright spotlight was suddenly on them. Now with more light, Kurt could see more of the backyard and squinted around. A familiar voice called out.

Something clicked in the back of Kurt's brain and he momentarily sobered up to say, "Blaine! You idiot! You brought us to _your house!_"

Blaine seemed to realize that at the same moment. "Oh shit shit shit shit," he streamed as he jumped out of the pool, dragging a blissful Rachel with him and grabbing whatever clothes he came in contact with as he sprinted out of his own backyard, Kurt on his heels.

"Whee!" Rachel sang.

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><p><strong>Just a note, if you are drunk, do NOT go into a pool. It's actually very dangerous for someone who is drunk to dive into a pool because the shock of the water has been known to petrify people and kill them. But this is fanfiction and I don't feel like writing about them sobering up first. :D<strong>

**Also, DON'T DRINK AND DRIVE! If I was mean, I would have had Blaine drive them off a cliff to teach everyone that drunk driving is a serious problem! Don't do it!**

**Finally, I know this is not my best writing by far, but I just thought this was fun and I hope you're getting at least a little chuckle out of all this madness! More chapters to come my lovely readers!**


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